Fake Mustache Page 10

  nd this is later.

  In this book, we’re finally telling the true story of what happened. Jodie and I wanted the actual truth to be known to historians and scholars someday. But right now it’s still top secret. We’re going to lock it up in a vault for now. Why change things? They’re almost back to normal. . .

  “Hey, Lenny,” said Sven. “Did you see The Jodie O’Rodeo National Hero Showdeo last night?”

  “Of course,” I said. “I never miss it.”

  “It’s even better than her old show. Can you believe those stunts she’s doing? She’s amazing!”

  “She sure is,” I said.

  “What are you getting today? A Wet Pets pen, twenty-three edible chicken-shaped erasers, and . . . aw, it’s a temporary tattoo of a horse with the words ‘Hoofbeats and Heartbeats.’ Are you buying this for somebody special?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to mail it to . . . er . . . the special somebody.”

  “Oh, a long-distance love affair,” said Sven, actually tearing up. “How sweet.”

  “Not really,” said Casper. “It makes me want to barf.”

  Sven shot him a nasty look. She rang up my stuff and gave me the tattoo for free. Then Casper paid for his stuff and we went back outside to walk around downtown Hairsprinkle for a while and look at the Christmas decorations.

  “C’mon, let’s go into Hairsprinkle Hot Dog,” said Casper. “My treat.”

  “First of all,” I said, “I’m not letting you treat me to anything until you’ve given back all the money you stole—”

  “Allegedly stole,” stuck in Casper. “And anyway, I was going to use the ten dollars that Nana Nookums sent me for Thanksgiving.”

  “—and second of all,” I continued, “it’s too hard to eat a big chili dog while I’ve got this cast on my hand.”

  “Oh, here we go again with the hand,” moaned Casper. “You know I really don’t see what you’ve got to complain about. You got to be on TV, you got to meet a president—”

  “A phony president elect,” I stuck in.

  “—you got your bike back, you got to keep the werewolf costume and the super-powerful sticky hand, AND you’ve got the most beautiful cowgirl in the world writing you love notes from Hollywood all the time. Sounds pretty good to me.”

  For once, Casper was right. But I wasn’t about to say thank you.

  “What did you buy at Sven’s anyway,” I asked him.

  “Nothing much . . . ,” he said, rolling up a small bag and shoving it in his pocket.

  “No—seriously. What was it?”

  “Oh, you’ll see,” he said.

  I just hope I don’t see it on Good Morning Hairsprinkle tomorrow morning.

  TOM ANGLEBERGER is the bestselling author of the Origami Yoda series and Horton Halfpott. He lives in Virginia and hopes you will visit him online at www.origamiyoda.com.

  This book was designed by Meagan Bennett and art directed by Chad W. Beckerman. The illustrations are by Jen Wang. The text is set in 12-point New Century Schoolbook, a typeface derived from Linn Boyd Benton’s original 1894 Century Roman.